Work

I know we’re supposed to see things that are scary as adventures or opportunities. I am struggling with this. I may be working in Brampton in the fall. I don’t know anyone from Brampton, and it’s too far from home to commute. I would have to live in residence and basically meet all new people. That terrifies me. I’m not going to lie- because the last person you should lie to is yourself (even though that’s the person we lie to the most). I want the job, it sounds like a great opportunity. But it’s still scary. I don’t see this as an opportunity to meet new people, I see it as starting over. My biggest weakness is my social game, the academic aspects I’m not worried about. What is there to fear though? That people will be mean to me? That I’ll have to spend time alone? Not every single person there is going to hate me, especially before they even meet me. If everyone does hate me, I guess I will just have a sweet fall romance with my Netflix account. But really, as introverted as I am, I need friends. I unconsciously wrote that sentence and then consciously read it back. I need friends, people I genuinely like. I hate needing things, or admitting it. I almost never make friends with coworkers, we just co-exist and co-work. It scares me that I will have to. I have no other way of meeting people. At this point lying to myself seems to be a better option than focusing on all the challenges ahead of me. I will be fine.

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