I have a love-hate relationship with anxiety.
Anxiety has molded who I am today, for better and worse. My life would have been much simpler when I was younger to live without anxiety, because honestly it wasn’t needed. It made my childhood a very unhappy one, for no reason. I’ve always been very aware of myself, and my physical reactions to situations were powerful- so powerful that they became inhibiting. It made it very difficult to make friendships and I clung to the ones I did make. I didn’t realize what was wrong until I started dating and would have meltdowns from the stress or would be terribly embarrassed and not know why. I found out that I had social anxiety. I did years of therapy, and I can honestly say.. my anxiety is a part of me. It’s always going to be there, however now that I understand it, I can use it to my advantage. I use my anxiety as a prompt, motivation, to do everything the best I can. I use it to motivate me to make friendships- although I do still feel nervous sometimes. I am learning the art of social interaction, and how to make deep friendships with people I trust. I still keep most of my thoughts to myself, but I am learning to share. Sharing is a powerful tool when it comes to overcoming social anxiety and not letting it overcome you. Harnessing the power of anxiety and manipulating it to your betterment is a skill, and it is not an easy one to master. I am far from mastering my anxiety, but I don’t see it as an invisible monster anymore. I can recognize it’s face, and often can understand the cause and fallacy of the thoughts.
Pressure may make stone crumble, but it can also turn them into solid diamonds.